My many sins

First of, let me apologise, Toluwa I'm sorry but like most countries I detest the number 13!!!!

I am not perfect, I cheat, I lie, I break wind in public
I download illegally, forget to take out the trash and love quintein taratino movies
I leave the toilet seat up and deny it furiously and in some way I'm responsible for the pestilence in sudan
Everyday I cause global warming and start fights with disadvantaged people
I am envious and I do covert my neighbours wife
I have lied to a priest and stolen candy from stores
I have promised to call many a women and never did
I am the cause of pain for many and hurt for most
I encourage fashion trends when I know the average joe can't afford it
I am gluttonus in most ways and the only reason I haven't killed any one is that I'm too dumb to get away with it
I like asian movies because of the blood and fighting but lie furiously it's because of the intricate plots
I drink when I am angry and get angry when I drink
I start bar fights then run to call the cops
I am unpatriotic, I'd sell the world back to the british if they paid me enough
I don't take bribes because no one's offered me one
I don't take drugs because its an expensive habit and just too much work to keep up
I'm right beside you till the last drop of beer cheering on but out the door when the bill comes
And even though I've never met you, I'm sure when I do, I'll find some sick way to hurt you
I am responsible for trash talk and senseless rumours
And by God I have placed many a fireworks in many a ant hill
I am lazy, this is the most work I've done all day
I don't murder animals because they have long nails and I abhor scratching
I'll say anything to get a girl in bed and have her leave the next morning
And yet I'll miss her when she's gone and blame the world for her not loving me
I will desert you at your time of need and return when the times good
I run away from trouble and awkward situations, but I'm around for every toasting
I drop water bombs from high buildings and give children funny looks
I hate gays only because I might be one and my closet is getting full
I wear tight pants to show off my package which doesnt impress you
I argue senslessly and I can be real annoying
I am responsible for this write up
I am a man another sin unforgivable in itself
All this and many more I am guilty off
And you know this
And yet in some sick, demented, sweet, angelic way
You love me?