Sunday, January 31, 2010

All the things I've been

Been the husband, the friend, the lover,
yet I’ve never worn a ring
been the brother, the father and crutch
yet I never had kids
been the giver, the provider and priest
wonder why I never learnt to receive
been the hero, the villain, the godsend
yet the devil bears all his marks on me
been the artist, the channel, the saint
yet salvation lies far from reach
been your strength, your weakness, your fix
yet I never understood the power within me
been the sinner, the sin, the temptation
seems forbidden is all I was meant to be
been the devil, the victim, the curse
all the talent that lies within me
been your everything, your love, your meaning
yet in the end I always mean nothing
been the present, the past, the forgotten
yet the future I never seem to be
the beginning and the end
the final page I always see
the path of Dante I forever seek
till the wings of Icarus come to save me

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Love is a drug

These emotions are like a drug
Addictive in small doses
Obscuring the mind from what really is
And like every true addict you make excuses because of the way it makes you feel
And no matter how bad the crash is
We all come back for one more hit
One more taste for that sweet feel
With no regard for where this would lead
While the world fuels this belief
Making us feel odd and out of place for abhorring the addiction
And so this condition is thus accepted as a norm
But I am tired of the illusion
Tired of trying to fit in
And so I am in rehab
So I can learn to be free
From this drug called love
That once ensnared me

Friday, January 8, 2010

Fool that I am

My demons keep me comfort here
Consumed by the company of all my past sins
Here I dwell in the darkest regions of me
Cast there by the ones who professed to save me
They preached of love and all its comforts
But look where love has led me
To the filth of the darkness that lives within me
To the pain and emptiness left only to demons and devils
I believe in hell now, for I was cast from my ignorant heaven
For the one classic sin that all men are doomed for
I dared to love; I dared to share my heart
And in the immortal fire of the abyss this has led me to
Love is a demons trickery to ensnare the soul in gentle treachery
It is the hang mans noose leading only to pain and suffering
For you hurt the ones you love
And the ones who love you eventually kiss you with the sweet blow of a demons torment and misery
No man ever cried for hate or from the mortal blow of hates tender caress
A vile creature this cupid be, for he shoots arrows meant to inflect mortal wounds
And yet deranged creature that I am
I still love, even when I have no heart to share
With tears and ash, I still crave the warm feelings loves treachery would offer
To see the sun bask against her face
Her tender smile
To bathe unashamedly in the knowledge that she is happy and loved
Oh fool that I am