Friday, February 19, 2010

Inspire Me

Brand me a thief, label me your liar
Burn me with the vilest names that your heart desire
Scream songs of my faults till the heavens burn heavy and noir
Sting me with the insults left for murders and traitors
With the darkest emotions I rear inside of you
Preach door to door of every vile deed bearing my name on cue
Instilling in the heavens the craving to reject my soul
Rain down every curse your soul can bear in whole
On my character, person and on my soul
Yet I’m still standing, I’m still here
And at your darkest, when your heart is heavy and your soul is broken and no one can hear
When you’re at your lowest time of need
You find me, knowing you can always depend on me to help you breathe
That I’ll always be there, your constant tower of solace
The drug you can take to help you focus
Knowing whatever life you live and breathe
You will always suffer me
As my burning effect, good or bad, will always be there in your life

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Silly Nonesense

Here, the thoughts that go on swimming in my head
Of how I won’t get to heaven when I am dead
Stuck down here with these drugs instead
With all the hate that I’ve been fed
From all of the girls I did not wed
And there they wonder why I pop these pills
It’s just for the way they make me feel
While yet keeping me functional still
3 days and running with no sleep
Living simply on coffee and self medication
With no need for food to fuel my condition
Watching my grades get better without fault
So now I’m convinced there’s no reason to halt
As the drugs keep me focused on the things I ought
Helping me to forget the things I am not
Unlike people, who always find me short
They keep me numb and carefree
While I lose everyone that meant everything to me
Why is it geniuses always end up empty?

Ramblings: One more lie

I stand here labled a liar and a thief
Whose only profession is to spread misery and grief
As such I promise to be swift
If you'll indulge me this one more lie I need to steal
A lie to make you understand how I truly feel
A lie that would finally explain me
A lie to set you free
So forgive me this lie, the next and the one after
While you watch me lie my heart away
Some how hoping you find peace in the words I say
As I tell you I’ll be alright and there’s no need to worry
That I need you to understand that all I want is for you to be happy
And that it doesn’t matter who you’re happy with
That my love is unconditional to my last breath
It doesn’t matter if it’s not returned
That all my hopes and dreams have not been forever burnt
That this heart you’re walking on now, can never be broken
That I’m stronger than you think, even when you're the one walking
That I’ll love hearing from you
And I don't really need to know you're okay to make it through
It won’t kill me inside every moment you with him
And that you didn’t have me walking with the dead, when you told me that you loved him
That I’ll move on and let go of you
Never hoping that you’d come back running to
That I won’t wake up constantly in a cold sweat, lost and confused
Possessed by dreams filled with you
That I won’t spend days not wanting to get out of bed
Wishing every sort of illness on myself in my head
That I won’t spend time listening to outdated love songs
Imaging singing them to you all day long
Reminiscing of the times you moaned my name
I won’t remind you of what we had nor what once was cupids aim
Of how every time you asked, I came back to you
And even when I faltered my heart stayed true
I won’t be pretending when you call that all is well
I would never be caught holding back tears nor exposing you to my living hell
I am a man, I need these lies
But I share them to you to make it easy for you
So walk away my love, to the man you love
I won’t be wishing he were me