Monday, December 26, 2011


I take comfort in the fact you won't read this
Or ever see the manic depressive I've become
There are days I lie to myself I don't need you
There are days I can't stand the sound of your name
There are days I think I don't like you
There are days I accept that you won't be coming home
There are days I feel I could just kill you
But just end up broken down in bed
There are days were the world illuminates nothing but you
And I wake up still wishing I'm dead
There are days where it's so hard to breathe
And I'm so overwhelmed, then your memory pops up in my head
There are days I can hardly make it out of bed
And I want to claw your name out my head
There are days I detest everything about you
But I could never ever live a life without you
There are days that hold promise and days with none at all
But there hasn't been a day I don't love you
There's never been a day I don't think of you
Or pray our futures end up together in the end
There hasn't been a day I've been able to be me without you

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Let's strike a bargain
I'll switch souls with the dead
So they might have my body
And walk beside you instead
Maybe then you'll see reason
When you hear the praises they said
Maybe they can lead you
To that paradise in your head
So let's strike a bargain
My life for that of someone you love
So that they may comfort you
Give you the love and acknowledgement you so want
Maybe then I'd have a reason
And a purpose might come my way
And I might be able to add something positive
To the life that you lay.

Nomad Thoughts

I'm just a host for these thoughts and feelings
Fighting to burst through, to survive
To finally breathe in air of their own
Held back by the essence that is me
Finding their dreams still remain unreal
And deep inside they continue to rebel against me
Cooking up a storm, so they can finally be rid of me
They don't see me as human
I'm a just a mechanism, a machine
Utterly useless to their loved ones
And to those they find feelings for
Thoughts and reason have no need of me
They watch and listen as I stand by
Everyone around me has a problem and need
But I can't satisfy them
Neither can I do anything
Helpless as a man
Weak as a machine
My thoughts have finally questioned
The reason and need for me

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Best Night Ever

He walks into the club with no expectations

He walks straight for the bar, the music is almost flirtations

He grabs a drink and turns to the dance floor, the girls looks so sensuous

He finds her from across the room and it’s like he finding beauty for the first time

And for the first time in his life he feels no chills, no fear

He walks up to her, confident, cool and calm, like he’s done this a thousand times

Expecting as he reaches her, he’ll choke and walk back to the bar drink in hand

But he gets there and there’s a look in her eye

He finds he’s saying all the right words, making all the right moves

For the first time that night she has a dance partner

And he’s a dancing sensation even though he’s failed every dance class he’s ever been to

She’s moving and swaying, he’s so enchanted he doesn’t even notice he’s dropped the glasses

It’s like he’s dancing on air

She grabs his hands and takes them to the bar to order drinks

He takes a shot of vodka and it’s like the first time he’s ever had one

The dryness washing down his throat, it’s like a new sensation

He can’t stop staring at her

She grabs his face and plants him a kiss

He feels this is the first kiss he’s ever had and every other kiss he might ever have would be judged by this one moment

She smiles; she knows exactly the effect she has on him

He takes another sip of his drink; it still feels like the first

There must be over a dozen other beautiful women in the club

But he can’t see anyone but her

There must be over a hundred guys in the club and he can tell she’s got everyone’s stare

She makes her way back to the dance floor with him in tow

Captivated as he is, he’s mesmerized

She sips her drink and kisses him for all to see

He’s the envy of all on scene

The alcohol slips down his throat and damn, it’s another new sensation

Totally better than anything he’s ever known

He can actually swear he’s stop breathing a long while ago

She’s never stopped dancing, her body constantly moving, constantly charming

He’s lost to the world and for him it’s the best night of his life

She runs her hands down his face and his body goes numb, her hand is all he feels

Her jewel eyes like a drug, transporting him to paradise

She knows the effect she has on him

And just when he thinks he’s on pleasure overload

She turns around and puts her hips to his waist

She’s twisting and swaying, he stopped hearing the music playing

And when she knows he’s excited, she can feel him

She grabs his hand and leads him off the dance floor

They make their way to the conveniences

All he can see is her moving, her body still swaying, her body rhythm still playing

She’s humming a tune but he can’t even hear it

She’s opening the doors, still leading him on

He can’t figure out anywhere he’d rather be, not now, not ever

And as she pins him to the wall and mounts him with a kiss

His whole life flashes before him

Yet he can’t think of any night he’s ever had that could be better than this

She’s kissing and undressing him, his whole body is burning up

And in his alcohol stained breath, he can swear he’s catching glances of flames

He feels her desire, her heat; he’s never felt more wanted or more needed

He’s never felt a woman ravage him like this before

He sees her when she pulls the knife from her boots

But he doesn’t care; he not even phased that’s the first time he’s observed what she’s been wearing all night.

She has him in her arms, her body squeezing on his and all he can think of is sin

And as her body moves, as she begins thrusting feverishly, her nails bite into his skin

And soon after, so does the knife

With every thrust her body makes towards his, she’s accompanied by the knife

And in all his pleasure, he’s well aware of the blood spilling from his body but he doesn’t care

Her passion grows with each penetration of the knife

And he can feel the life force leaving him

He’s holding on desperately for the finish

The final kiss, the climax that would whisk him away to el paradisio

Her blood soaked hands brush the sweat from his face

But they can’t wipe away the smile he has planted there

She gives him one last kiss before she pulls away

His clinging on to watch her wash up

She never stops moving, her body still swaying

She blows him a kiss as she walks away

With his last breath leaving him

The only though left on his mind stands clear

This was the best damn night of his life.

silly thing

i imagine you standing by the door
dressed in nothing but a thin black silk
i imagine taking you into my arms
your smell intoxicates me
i grow weak as i feel your warm embrace
at first too afraid to look into face
a lil afraid that your beauty would blind my eyes
but then i take you in and it's always a sensuous surprise
i imagine my hands around your waist
i'm loosing consciousness as my hand strokes the small of your back
it's like i'm dying when your lips find mine
and every time, i swear i loose my mind
i imagine your hands locked in my hair
it's like i'm walking on chocolate covered silken air
i imagine the glorious smile that shapes your face
and believe it comes from feeling of having me near
i imagine you waiting there for me
that's how i make it through my days

Saturday, June 25, 2011

where is my mind?

where is my mind?
i'm lost in thought, feeling, emotions and such
i haven't written a story in months
my thoughts are tirelessly swimming
but barely make the shore
am i lost or just unsure
am i without direction or without a clue
in places unknown or just unknown in places
where is my mind?
am i that lost without you?


these days i find faith in the oddest places
in a flower growing by the brick passage way
in a text sent abstractly with just the word, hey!
in an offline message of just a sentence or a buzz
in a video chat lasting hours
in a flashing smile, without thought or reason
in you...