Saturday, November 7, 2009

Interesting Times

There’s an old Chinese curse that goes; 'may you live in interesting times', now that struck me as funny when I first heard it. That’s because I consider that I don't just live in interesting times, I live amongst interesting people as well. Case in point an experience I had not so long ago. You see a friend comes round to my place to supposedly say hello. Now I’ve known this guy for not too long but for that amount of time I’d say we’re pretty close. Anyways he comes into my house, takes a seat with his hands in his jacket, turns right to me and looks me dead in the eye. Then he proceeds to give me the most interesting factual speech I suspect I will ever hear, it goes like this

‘I’m sorry to bug you man, I really mean that, I know you got your own problems and shit but look man I’m broke. Dead broke, I don’t even have a dime to buy myself lunch; I had no illusions of breakfast. Now I can stick this out, least I think I can but the thing is now my mum’s now in the hospital in need of an operation and I can’t bloody afford it. I’m the only family she has and that woman has been good to me man, hell she’s been good to you; she’s been good to everyone. She’s a freaking saint and you know it. So I have to do something, you get that; I mean I am pretty desperate at this point.

Now it occurs to me that I have just two choices, either I take a loan from somewhere or someone or I gotta rob someone. Dude, I don’t own anything I can use as quadrilateral, I mean no house, no car, hell I don’t even own the bed I sleep on, so the banks are out for sure. I just lost my job and you know how that went so that options out. My savings have gone into paying back the company for that little incident. So it’s down to robbing, sadly.

Dude, you’re the one person I trust and can always turn to and you know what they say man, you rob the people you know first! So I just thought before I pull this gun out of my jacket and go all crazy up in here, I’d just try asking you nicely first... Can you loan me $3000?’
Now think about it, what could I say to that? I mean, even if I didn’t have the money he had laid down a pretty convincing plea and he did ask, ever so nicely...first!

1 comment:

  1. OMG..for real?
    he sure was desperate..

    so what did u do?how did you feel? how have u related with him since then?

    Gawd...somewhat hilarious yet deadpan serious