My Pet

You walk into a room like air slipping into a vacuum

For all those asphyxiated lungs to breathe

And shockingly you don’t realise that’s the effect you have on me

And on everyone else who has the chance to spend time with you

I’ve learnt you cannot choose the way people make you feel

Or the effect they have on you when they leave

You may choose to dull your emotions with alcohol or reasoning

But in the end it doesn’t change how you feel

So it’s better to learn to appreciate the moments

You get to spend with those you enjoy

And if you surround yourself with all those kinds of people

So I want to surround myself with you

And seeing as these feelings are never shared with many

I want to take my time in sharing them with you

And when they ask in years to come, the reason and motivation for who I am

I swear my dear the answer is you.

And I know you’ll never understand the reason why I love you

Just like I can’t figure out why you love me

I’m just glad I met you and got to be with you

And wait for the moment you say...I do.

Wudan Monk

I'll turn into a stone bridge, endure a 1000 years of rain, 1000 years of wind, 1000 years of snow just for the hope that someday you might cross my path

Question the Answers

Forget about the questions, it’s the answers that keep me awake at night

Cos’ if the answers are solutions

Solutions to the issues bring conclusions to the problem

Meaning after the answers there’s nothing left to do

So if you are my answer to all of life’s questions

You see my dilemma dear

So let’s have a fight or two

So i can conjure up ways to make up with you

And let the fear that I might not wake up next to you

Motivate me to find more ways of pleasing you

So even if my answer is always you

The question becomes ways of loving you

Even though I may not have to prove to you

The way I feel about you

I want to make sure when the life is through

I’m sure I ended it with you

With a smile on your face

Your answer still being me, too

...

Let’s call a spade a spoon

Let’s dabble around with words so eloquently

Let’s call these caricatures, toons

And mask the way we feel with words that have no meaning

We can retreat to dreams and ambitions

Then evaluate our lives on words unspoken by others

Let’s take breaks from our lives and selves

And find meaning in little fistfuls of air

And in the end you’ll grow and become happy

While we try to connect the dots on how that became

And I’ll sit and write your life’s parody

Filled with all the things you were to scared to play

The easy route has always been best traveled

So why would our lives be any different

And as a gift of your life’s accomplishment

I’ll do the one thing you always dreamt to do

I’ll break my own heart into a thousand pieces

And baby you won’t feel a thing

Unfinished...

When I examine the thoughts in my head

Only one though rings constant and true

An idea that throbs and fuels me

That wakes and comforts me, soothes me

That thought is you

And when I dig for the reasons I feel this way, here is what I find

Being with you is the only reason I look forward to waking up every morning

Taking care of you has been my drive to work harder and succeed

Listening to your ills and troubles fuels my resolve to be there for you always

Every morning I strive to be a better man to somehow try and live up the an expectation worthy of you

The only joy I have in sharing is the ecstasy in your voice when you receive something you really want

Spent a life time making other people happy only to realize the only one that makes me happy is you

It still amazes me how I can always smell and taste the sweat running down your skin

Or how hearing your voice drowns me in so much emotion I never know how best to react

I still spend hours on end staring at your pictures, wishing I was staring at you

Knowing no place on earth could ever feel more like home than your arms

What I wouldn't sacrifice to be kissing you right now still remains a mystery to me

If only you could catch a glimpse of the way I see you or how much you mean to me

Being denied time with you, is a slow poison too hard to swallow

And it shames me when others are there to be with you when those moments I cannot share

It scares me because deep inside I know I might not end up with you

Or be the one who calms the turbulent sea that lies within you

And even though this cross I bear, I hold on dearly to those moments shared.

It hurts me that you feel you add nothing to my life, you are my life... my world

There's not a day that goes by that the thought of you doesn't motivate me or build me up

I would never admit this but I could never live in a world devoid of you

My only solace is knowing no one will ever read this, you never see this

I could never live with the rejection, if you knew what you do to me

Trunk of a Car

Lying in the trunk of this car, thinking of all the things I’ve done

The moments that lead to this and the decisions they ushered from

The forces in my life have been my strength and my destruction

The forces that drive me through need no real introduction

She was seventeen, young and lean

Looking like a beauty queen

Smart and witty, strong and gritty

Adventurous with just the right amount of needy

The first time I saw her, it was like angels sung to me

And all I could see and hear was made up of symphony

She would mean the world to me

And that’s all she has grown to be

And I knew then what I know now

I would do anything to bring her every desire to fruition some how

And I tried but there’s just so much a bum like me can do

And no matter what I did, it felt like there was no pleasing you

And then it hit me, one big score, one simple gig to even the plane

But all of my associates told me I was insane

But then I found a crew willing to do what a man needs to do

To provide for his family, the way a man ought to

We hit the casino at a quarter to five

It didn’t go down as expected but we didn’t take any lives

But there was blood split and the wrong people got hurt

Back then they just seemed like causalities as long as we didn’t get caught

Or so we thought but that quickly changed as they days went past

And we realised we had to get out of town fast

No plan is perfect and word went around

Our names were mentioned and so people had to go to the ground

Bobby got hit; Mike was wacked not too long after, Joey didn’t get as far

And me, me, I’m in the trunk of this car

But it’s all gone as I expected, according to the plan in my head

They’ll never find all the money, she’d find what’s left and forge ahead

Through torture and pain, I’d tell all they need to know

They’d get most of the money and the guys that pulled the show

She’ll disappear somewhere with the bag in the sofa

Start a new life there, with the arrangements I made, she’d never have to suffer

I had it all planned out with the thoughts in my head

But then it’s funny the things you think of when you dead

They say you get a clear glimpse of things

And here I did finally putting together all of the strings

It was never the money nor the material things she wanted

Not the car, gadgets or jewellery that to her was flaunted

It was me home, at hours when she was awake

Doing stuff with me in activities that couples partake

It was just my time and love that she enjoyed the best

The things I denied her while putting material things first

She returned the money; she wanted none of that blood on her hands

If I had only been a man and gotten with that 9 to 5 plan

Now she’s alone crying in shadows feeling betrayed

I can’t even hold her hand and apologise, I strayed

My best intentions to give everything she could dream

If only I had asked her, I woulda learnt I was that dream

Paradox

If they ever invent the time machine, it better be portable device

And if it’s in mass quantity and cheap enough, everyone will want one

But if they invented the time machine

I could go back in time to the point it all went bad

And she left me and ended it

I could fix everything, resolve the issues, be the man I shoulda been

But then what if she also went back in time to fix another relationship

One that happened before she met me

Or some lovely lady I know decided it best to go back as well

To ensure that as I was getting dumped, that she be there to pick up the pieces

Or my friends who thought she was no good for me

Went back as well to ensure we never met

What a timeless mess that would be

Now remember that you travelling back in time and not transversing space

So the location you are now is where you’ll end up then

Now wouldn’t it be an expensive trip if you still have to travel to where you need to be

So if you travel back in time and where you are now,

At the time you arrive just might have been a busy highway

Or per chance you transport into a locked bedroom

Of two 80 year old ladies jerking off to a dominatrix porno

What if you took a recent discovery of your time

And went back to the past to claim that it was yours

But when you get then, the technological knowhow or understanding

Was not available to develop it, wouldn’t that be a waste of time

Or if you by the time you got back to the past

Some other zealot fellow had gone further

And had already laid claimed to the same discovery

What if I went back into the past to rob a bank I used to work at?

Arrived at the time only to find another set of employees

Who have traveled back trying to pull the same stunt as me?

We get into a shootout and I end up dead

A DNA test is done on me to identify the criminal

And my obituary announced on TV in a bank job gone wrong

While the me, in the past is vacationing somewhere.

What if I went back to the past and got the ‘me’ in the past killed

That would mean that me in the future would cease to exist

But then if I died in the past, then the me in the future never existed

So how the heck did I travel back to the past and get myself dead?

Now isn’t time travel just so confusing....

Keep traveling into the future, leave the past behind...